I Want Some Dasuki Money; I Know You Want Some Too

I like Bentleys; I specifically like the Bentley Continental because it’s a beast. As a good husband and father, I’d like to buy one for my wife and one for my son too. I think by doing this they will know I care. Now, a new Bentley costs forty-five million naira only; therefore, I need one hundred and thirty five million for three Bentleys.

However, I’m an entrepreneur with a new company and lot of certificates and sadly, these things can’t buy me three Bentleys at once. But, if I had Sambo Dasuki’s money, I’d buy them without blinking an eye.

Please, don’t say I have big eyes because I want the good things of life fast. I’m just a typical Nigerian.

Ha, I’d like to own a private jet too. I heard one of the perks of travelling private is that you don’t get to mingle with the poor masses and you can choose your travel times. Some months ago, I was invited to a private jet expo at Fanborough Airport. Come and see private jets! I wanted to take a quick selfie while exploring one of the jets but I was warned by one of the hosts that selfies are not allowed. She messed up my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter moves. I would have posted that picture everywhere, tagged my friends and proceeded to write a motivational caption like “Hustle on fleek”.

I saw one 777 bombardier private jet on that day. I swear it’s fine; the interior houses bespoke Italian upholstery with gold plated linings. It costs one hundred and fifty million naira only. With Dasuki’s money I would have been able to buy this private jet and the three Bentleys.

At my age, I should be living like Linda Ikeji or even more than that. I can’t wait for my turn o. Leave that story. Again, if only I had that arms’ money, I’d splash six hundred million naira on a house in Banana Island so that I can take selfies with Ikeji and other slippery millionaires on that island. After the purchase I can now take proud pictures and put them on my Instagram, Facebook and Twitter without an angry host berating me.

Seriously, I wish I had that type of money and I know you want that money too. Perhaps, you will be different with the way you spend yours. You will be a good thief like Tinubu, Ameachi or even Fashola. You will blind the people with small goodies and claim to be an angel.

One thing is, me, I like to live large; as such, I like to pop bottles when I go out. Did you know Armand De Brignac is the drink of status? That’s the only thing I drink when I go out. I have a lot of friends and when I go out I like to shut down the place with popping! So, on a night, I might be inclined to spend ten million naira; as a matter of fact, I like to step into the club with a bullion van.

I’m not like those Nigerians who point accusing fingers at politicians and secretly wish they had their kind of money.

I want Dasuki’s money, to show that I’m a good father, husband and a good friend. I mean how will people know I’ve arrived if I’m just hustling education and other small businesses? I think they will respect me if I deal in arms.

One last thing, with Dasuki’s money, I will be humble. I’d play safe. I’d maintain that Mafian omerta code. I won’t pretend, I want that money and I know you want it to!

I can be reached via email: [email protected]
Or via twitter: @moshoke