Sex is that exciting mystery that intrigues everyone, sex is gross, sex is sweet, sex is sour, sex is embarrassing, sex is awkward, sex is hypnotic, sex is fun, sex is wrong, sex is crazy, sex is right… if you have had sex several times you must have come across a few of these emotions.
Sexual pleasure is not “male only”
Our society is so male-dominated it is forbidden everywhere for women to enjoy sex how men do. Truth be told, there are two people involved and both have the right to enjoy the ‘exercise’.
Ideally, you all should be experiencing pleasure (and maybe even having orgasms!), and you should be talking about the needs of everyone involved. Women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to the sex, when, in fact, men are insultingly supporting their own superiority.
The number one tip ever should be communication. Tell one another what you want. If you are not sure, experiment! See what feels good, know what you partner likes and try that.
This cannot be over-emphasized, sex isn’t about putting new moves you just learnt on your partner and hoping they appreciate and reciprocate. It’s about talking about and expressing what you need and want, as well as what your partner needs and wants.
You have to use words like “more of this,” or “I really like it when you do that.”
Be sincere, say what you feel “I don’t enjoy when you do that,” “That doesn’t feel good,” and even just saying “stop.”
And one of the best places to talk about sex is actually outside of the bedroom.
Create a safe space with your partner where you can talk about anything and don’t feel like there is something you can’t say. Find a time when you are both mentally and emotionally available, sit down, and talk about your sex life. This should be the moment of truth.
Have sex anywhere and everywhere, be spontaneous!
Do not restrict your sex life to the bedroom alone, boring! Do it in the parking lot (inside your car oh). Do it the shower everywhere so far no one is looking. Let everywhere remind you of sex with your spouse. Spice up the sex life to keep it interesting for yourself.
Foreplay is important
Foreplay is important for men as it is for women. Do just dive straight into penetration, you might hurt her.
Find out that touch that turns her on. What turns her on may depend on her mood, and when she is in her monthly cycle. Perhaps her nipples are more sensitive or her genitals are less tickly. When you find something that works, linger on it. Women often complain that men move on to the next thing just as they really start to enjoy an activity. Ask if it is the clitoris or nipple or just touches that gets her really wet.
Find out that touch that turns him on. Men probably get turned on by the female voice, yes, don’t argue, kiss, lips and genitals. However it is, make it a duty to find out what he likes to do before major sex. Spice it up.
Guys, for women, intercourse alone doesn’t do the trick
For most women, say 8 out of 10 intercourse alone would not make them climax. Why not? Most sex positions don’t directly stimulate the clitoris, that is why.
There are other ways to pleasure her. Women have accepted that they orgasm much more consistently from oral sex than from intercourse. Also, try sex with the woman on top, or a vibrator made for couples to use during sex. Men should feel comfortable, not threatened, with sex toys.
To help her hit the high note when you do have sex, take time to stimulate her before you make your entrance. The closer women are when they start intercourse, the more likely they are to have an orgasm. So remember, most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, but it’s more complex than you may think. But do not forget it is so sensitive the pleasure could turn to pain just as fast.
Sex is… perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?