A Guide to Nigerian Aunties and Their Iconic One-Liners
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Because sometimes the shade is louder than love
In every Nigerian home, compound, or WhatsApp family group, there exists a species of women whose presence is unmistakable and whose words have the power to bless, baffle, or bruise—all within one breath. They are the Nigerian aunties. Not always your direct relatives (and sometimes not related at all), aunties are a cultural institution: a mix of unsolicited advice, suspicious side-eyes, and well-meaning meddling. Whether at weddings, naming ceremonies, church events, or Sunday lunch, their one-liners are legendary—and unforgettable.
Here’s a lovingly compiled guide to Nigerian aunties and the iconic things they say, decoded and explained.
1. “So you cannot greet?”
Translation: I’ve been sitting here and you walked past me without kneeling, prostrating, or at least bending your spinal cord in reverence.
This line usually comes with a raised brow and the kind of tone that makes you question your entire upbringing. Bonus judgment if you didn’t bring anything for her from your travels.
2. “Your mates are married.”
Translation: I have taken it upon myself to remind you of your perceived lateness in life, despite not paying your bills.
Often delivered with passive-aggressive smiles at weddings or in the presence of potential suitors. Sometimes paired with “Is it not just to say yes?” as though marriage is a raffle draw.
3. “This one you’re looking fresh, who is funding you?”
Translation: I am suspicious of your financial glow-up. Are you doing ‘runs’?
This is never a compliment. It’s an interrogation disguised as flattery. Nigerian aunties can smell suspicious enjoyment from three streets away.
4. “You’ve added weight o.”
Translation: I am worried about your body, but not enough to mind my business.
Whether you’ve lost or gained weight, they will comment. Expect a follow-up nutritional analysis or, worse, a suggestion that your weight is tied to your marital status or womb activities.
5. “Are you still doing that your small job?”
Translation: I don’t quite understand what you do, and since it doesn’t involve a uniform or a government office, I don’t rate it.
If your job title isn’t “doctor”, “engineer”, or “banker”, your career may be filed under “that your small thing” in the Aunties’ Archive of Unclear Professions.
6. “When we were your age…”
Translation: Prepare for a mythologized version of my youth where I walked to school barefoot, graduated early, and married before I hit puberty.
This is always a trap. You cannot win. Just nod, smile, and let her finish her oral history documentary.
7. “Your hair is not neat. You don’t comb it?”
Translation: Your afro is an insult to my relaxer-era standard of grooming.
Naturalistas, beware. Nigerian aunties still measure neatness by how flat your edges are and how shiny your weave looks. Your twist-out may be a revolution, but to them, it’s rebellion.
8. “You better be praying.”
Translation: I suspect your problems are spiritual and possibly self-inflicted.
Usually said when you express any modern struggle—career confusion, relationship stress, or even allergies. The solution? Mountain of Fire and a 21-day fast.
9. “That’s how it starts.”
Translation: I see red flags in your choices, and I’m here to foreshadow doom.
This one is dropped casually, whether you mention cohabiting, not going to church as often, or getting a tattoo. Aunty is watching, and she has the spiritual gift of suspicion.
10. “We are praying for you.”
Translation: You are a topic in our prayer group chat. And maybe also in our gossip thread.
Sometimes genuine, often laced with judgment, always a little terrifying. You never know whether to say “thank you” or “for what exactly?”
11. “You these children of nowadays…”
Translation: I do not understand your lifestyle, and I will not try.
This is the preamble to a rant about Gen Z values, newfangled hairstyles, gender roles, and the absence of respect (read: unquestioning obedience).
12. “Is that what you’ll wear out?”
Translation: I don’t approve. Change before I call your mother.
Whether it’s a ripped jean, crop top, or just too much skin showing, this one-liner is code for “you’re dressed like a Jezebel.” Even when you’re just going to Shoprite.
13. “You’re enjoying o, God has done it for you.”
Translation: I am watching you. Closely.
Could be a genuine compliment, or a lead-in to gossip or shade. Delivered with a smile that doesn’t quite reach the eyes.
14. “A word is enough for the wise.”
Translation: I’ve said my own. If you like, hear word.
This is how they drop a judgment bomb and walk away. No follow-up, no discussion. Just vibes and a hint of spiritual superiority.
Why We Love (and Fear) Nigerian Aunties
Underneath the sharp comments, unsolicited advice, and side-eye Olympics lies a foundation of care—albeit cloaked in overbearing tradition and unsolicited prophecy. Nigerian aunties are a product of their environment, shaped by expectations, family politics, and decades of monitoring people’s business. Whether they’re cooking you a pot of soup or subbing you in the family group chat, their presence is unforgettable.
And honestly? We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Bonus Tip: If you really want to confuse a Nigerian aunty, respond with, “Aunty, you too!” and smile. The resulting silence will be golden.
