“Babe, You’ve Overstayed”: The Awkward Truth About Sleepovers and Boundaries in Nigerian Relationships

Not too long ago, a Nigerian man posted on X (formerly Twitter), seeking advice on how to tell his girlfriend—without hurting her feelings—that she had overstayed her welcome after a weekend sleepover. In his words, he tried everything: claiming his mother was coming, faking an outing, and even throwing in hints like, “I’ll be back soon, don’t miss me too much.” But she wasn’t budging. Instead, she responded with: “I’ll wait so you don’t miss me too much either.”

Twitter did what it does best—reacted. Some laughed, others rolled their eyes, and a few actually sympathized. But behind the jokes and quote tweets was a truth a lot of people don’t want to admit: in Nigerian dating culture, we don’t talk enough about personal boundaries, especially when it comes to sleepovers.

The Sleepover That Never Ends

In Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, or anywhere love is being brewed with Indomie and Netflix, the weekend sleepover has become a mini tradition in modern Nigerian dating. You know the routine: Friday evening link-up turns into a full-blown weekend affair, where toothpaste is borrowed, T-shirts are claimed, and the remote control becomes a shared asset.

At first, it’s cute. But by Sunday evening—or in some cases, Tuesday afternoon—one person might start to feel like their space is being hijacked. Unfortunately, it’s often the guy who feels this way and doesn’t know how to say it without sounding mean or unromantic. Instead of speaking up, they resort to elaborate lies or passive-aggressive behavior.

And it’s not just about space. Sometimes, it’s about routine. Some men—yes, even the emotionally unavailable ones—have a rhythm. They want to recharge, have some quiet time, or even just lounge in their boxers without having to be “on.”

But here’s the problem: many Nigerian men aren’t exactly known for their emotional articulation. So instead of saying, “I need some alone time,” they’ll say, “My mom is coming,” or “My landlord said no visitors.”

The Communication Gap

Why does it feel like a crime to just say, “Babe, I think it’s time you headed home”?

Part of it is cultural. Nigerian men are often taught to avoid confrontation, especially in romantic relationships. Being direct is seen as rude or insensitive, so they sugarcoat, dodge, or just ghost. On the flip side, Nigerian women—raised to nurture, accommodate, and “stay a little longer”—sometimes genuinely don’t recognize when the vibes have shifted.

It’s a communication gap that creates tension where honesty could’ve saved the day. And let’s be honest: nobody wants to be the person who’s being subtly pushed out of someone’s house like expired milk in a fridge.

Boundaries Are Not Rejection

What’s often missing in these scenarios is the reminder that setting boundaries isn’t rejection. Wanting your space doesn’t mean you love your partner any less. It means you’re human. You’re allowed to miss someone—even crave them—only after they’ve left.

For Nigerian couples navigating modern romance, it’s time we normalize saying things like:

• “Babe, this weekend was amazing, but I need Monday to myself.”
• “Can we do shorter visits sometimes?”
• “I love having you here, but I also love being alone. Let’s balance it.”

Imagine how many awkward X threads we could avoid if more people felt safe enough to say that out loud.

A Two-Way Street

This isn’t to say women don’t also feel the same way. Plenty of Nigerian women have hosted their boyfriends who turned their house into a full-blown man cave, eating their food, lounging endlessly, and forgetting the way back to their own apartments. But here’s the twist: women are often expected to be more accommodating, even when they’re visibly tired or overwhelmed. Saying “you’ve overstayed” might be seen as unfeminine or harsh. So, just like the men, many women suffer in silence—counting down the minutes till peace returns.

The issue here isn’t about gender—it’s about boundaries and emotional maturity. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their space, and everyone deserves the freedom to ask for that space without fear of being misunderstood.

Let’s Talk About It

Maybe the next time someone posts on X asking how to “subtly” kick their partner out, we can change the narrative. Maybe instead of looking for lies to tell, we start encouraging honest, respectful conversations.

What if the new love language became:

• “I love being with you, but I also value my space.”
• “Let’s take breaks so we don’t burn out.”
• “I miss you more when you’re not here.”

Relationships thrive on communication—and not the kind that needs to be decoded like a puzzle. The goal isn’t to guilt or shame anyone. It’s simply to make room for clarity, comfort, and consent.

Because at the end of the day, nobody should feel like they have to pretend their mother is on the way just to get a moment of quiet.