In a plot twist only Nigeria could script, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), under the sage-like guidance of Governor Yemi Cardoso, has decided to sprinkle a bit of fairy dust on its operations by hiring what we can only describe as the “1.2 Billion Naira Babes.” Yes, you heard that right, folks; at a time when the naira is doing more gymnastics than Simone Biles, the CBN has thought it prudent to invest in high-flying consultants.
Imagine this: Nigeria is wrestling with inflation rates that would make even the most stoic economist weep, and extreme poverty is not just knocking on the door but has moved in for an extended stay. Yet, here comes the CBN, not with solutions for the common man, but with a lavish cheque for consultants who, one might assume, must be versed in the ancient art of turning nothing into something – but apparently, not in the art of economic prosperity.
Dr. Balonwu, with her impressive academic credentials, and Dr. Daphne Oterie Dafinone, with her vast experience in corporate governance, are the stars of this show. They’ve been brought on board at a staggering cost, which, if converted into loaves of bread, could feed a small town for a year or, more humorously, buy enough wigs to make every Nigerian look like they’re ready for a beauty pageant.
Now, one might ask, “What have these babes of banking done to combat the economic downturn?” Well, the silence is deafening. While the CBN is busy doling out billions for advice, Nigerians are out here, trying to make ends meet with a naira that’s weaker than a politician’s promise. The irony is as thick as the traffic on Lagos roads during rush hour.
The CBN, under Cardoso’s watch, seems more interested in looking good at international forums than addressing the glaring issues at home. It’s like putting lipstick on a pig – the pig might look pretty, but it’s still a pig dealing with the mud of economic despair.
This move has left many scratching their heads, wondering if the CBN has lost the plot entirely. With Nigerians dealing with the harsh realities of rising costs, joblessness, and a general sense of disillusionment, one would think the priority would be on policies that put food on tables, not on hiring consultants whose fees could fund a small village’s electricity for a decade.
In summary, while the CBN’s 1.2 Billion Naira Babes might be dazzling in their expertise, the timing of this extravagance is as off as a karaoke singer with tone-deafness. Here’s hoping the CBN wakes up from this expensive dream and starts focusing on the real nightmare – the economic plight of the average Nigerian. Until then, we can only watch, wait, and perhaps laugh, lest we cry at the absurdity of it all.