Domestic violence ruined my first marriage – Etinosa Idemudia
Nollywood actress, Etinosa Idemudia has revealed how suffering domestic violence made her quit her first marriage.
Idemudia, who is also making waves as a skitmaker, said that she got married aged 22 in 2013.
She said being subjected to domestic violence at a such young age was a traumatic experience.
“I experienced violence while I was married in 2013 at the age of 22. It really did a lot to my psyche. I don’t think I have recovered from the trauma because once I read anything about domestic violence, I get triggered . Any time I relive memories of that ugly incident, I’m not usually the same. I don’t want my enemy to experience what I went through in the past,” she told Vanguard.
She said insecurity on the part of her first husband precipitated the violence that broke the marriage.
“I wasn’t forced into the marriage at all. I chose to marry my ex-husband. I was in love with him. We were very good friends and close to each other. And the reason I got married very early was to avoid keeping multiple partners. I didn’t want to become a spoiled girl. At that time, I was already working as an engineer and was fulfilled. I had a lucrative oil and gas job.
“I graduated at a very young age and was highly intelligent. I had money and was very young. The first thing African parents would tell their daughter who has a good job, car and decent apartment is to settle down before she might be too big for men to woo her at a point. So, you have to marry to avoid keeping multiple relationships. Then, I was dating my ex-husband before I graduated from the university and he was talking about settling down to start raising children very early.
“But I had this philosophy of life that I would not get married without having my own source of income. Thank God I held on to that conviction and it really saved my life. So, he waited for me until I graduated from the university, did my youth service and secured my first job. I thought he was the best thing that had happened to me. We got married but along the line, insecurity set in. I couldn’t understand and wondered that while we were dating, didn’t he feel insecure? He didn’t know I was such a beautiful girl that men would admire.
“Probably, it was because I was caged, while I was an undergraduate at Covenant University which was like a glorified prison yard. While I was undergoing my youth service, he got me engaged and after serving my country, he gave me the second ring. I still want to appreciate him because things that happen in our life eventually bring one to his or her expected future.
“He practically opposed my going into acting and even kicked against the comedy skit I was doing online. He said that some of his superiors were laughing and commenting on my Instagram page. He said that he didn’t want me to be shooting comedy skits any more and that I should be doing it only for him in the house,” Idemudia said.