How To Bag Ileya Meat From Your Muslim Friends This Ileya Period
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The Ileya season is upon us again! Or as it’s officially known, Eid al-Adha — the Islamic festival of sacrifice. For Muslims, it’s a sacred time marked by prayer, gratitude, and sharing. For the rest of us? Let’s not lie — we’re just here for the ram meat.
If you’ve ever caught a whiff of sizzling suya or smoky grilled ram wafting through the compound, you know the assignment: bag that meat.
Here’s your ultimate, foolproof, no-shame guide to securing premium Ileya meat from your Muslim friends this season.
1. Check In Early — Don’t Be a Seasonal Friend
If the last time you texted Abdul was last Ileya, please behave. Start building the connection early. Send that “Happy Jummah” text on Friday. React to their WhatsApp status. Ask them how Ramadan went. The meat game starts with groundwork.
2. Be Loud With the Ileya Greetings
On the big day, show enthusiasm like you’re the one slaughtering the ram. Drop a cheerful “Barka da Sallah!” or “Eid Mubarak!” in the group chat. Bonus points if you personalize it: “Barka da Sallah, Sodiq! Hope the rams came in plenty!”
Your energy must match your hunger.
3. Offer Fake Help — Just Enough
Say things like, “Una don start to share meat?” or “Make I come help carry cooler?” You don’t actually have to go (unless you’re shameless enough), but this shows effort. They’ll laugh, feel your pain, and might say, “Send your address jare.”
That’s the jackpot.
4. Tell Emotional Stories
Mention how your mum loves Ileya meat but nobody sends anymore. Say your compound is dry this year. Sprinkle in a little nostalgia: “Ah! I miss those childhood days when neighbors used to knock with meat and stew. Now everyone is forming.”
Guilt is powerful.
5. Make Strategic Visits
If you live in the same area, time your visits like a true hunter. Don’t go too early when the ram is still in prayer. Don’t go too late when only bone remains. Show up just around stew o’clock, bearing small gifts (like cold drinks) and your best smile.
6. Don’t Be Stingy With Compliments
When they send you meat, don’t just say “thanks.” Overdo it: “Ah! This meat is heavenly! You people really know how to cook. See as the pepper enter!” This ensures you’re on the shortlist for next year.
7. Return the Favor (Even If It’s Small)
No one likes a one-sided relationship. When Christmas or New Year comes, send back something — even if it’s a humble Zobo bottle or a small tray of rice. Reciprocity keeps the meat tap flowing.
Don’t Stress Them On Day One
They’re busy. Don’t nag. Drop the hints, give space, and follow up the next day with something like, “Hope the celebration went well o. Meat never reach my side sha 😩.” It’s cheeky but effective.
