Fool Moon and Other Stories

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‘How far?’

‘I dey.’

‘No work?’

‘Dem declare public holiday now.’


‘Yesterday. You nor dey hear news?’

‘No light.’

‘Your phone nko?’

‘No data.’

‘Ehn, public holiday dey.’

‘But, why? Why public holiday?’

‘We just finish fasting now and we still dey find moon.’

‘Wait o, because of moon, dem declare no work. Wey people like us dey look for work, some people dey house because dem no see moon. Wonders…’

‘…Please, abeg, no disrespect my religion guy. No be me talk say make moon…’

‘…Make we reason am now. This holiday no make sense. Because one moon nor surface, federal government declare holiday straight. For country wey dey shake like this.’

‘These rites have to be respected.’

‘By waiting for fool moon?’

‘Yes, full moon.’

‘Crase dey kill us for this Africa. Every thing wey we import we take am like government work. Church. Mosque. We don turn am to do or die things. If Christmas come, we take holiday; when one moon stroll enter cloud or no come we take another holiday, wahala dey.’

‘Whatever. Relocate now.’

‘Na that one we dey talk? Haba, why federal government go do like this. Shey if your house dey burn down, you go outside go wait for rain or you go pour water for the fire until he stop?’

‘Take your logic somewhere else. See your life. If you were practising any religion, maybe you’d have been gainfully employed.’

‘Ha, I see, once I follow organised religion work go dey plenty.’


‘How many faithfuls get work? How many born again and Alfa dey beg for work? Your sense don follow the moon miss. Africans na religion go kill una. If, for a minute, we fit drop the thing small, we go dey see road.’

‘I’ve told you what to do, relocate.’

‘To where.’

‘England. The US.’

‘No. I have hope in my nation. Once I practise patience, I would be one of the maids of a politician. God knows.’

‘Why don’t you try the US, that’s where you’ll meet people like you. People who don’t have respect in God.’

‘I’ve told you that I want to be a maid. I want to have 2m in my account steady.’

‘You’re a pathetic dreamer. A bad one.’

‘America. England. Those ones don’t like blacks. They will quickly finish someone like me.’

‘That’s the best for someone like you. Death.’

‘You, you just dey wish me bad luck. Like any religious fanatic wey no like reason.’

‘We do like reason. The religious fanatics are the illiterates.’

‘Bin was educated.’

‘Guy, please, it’s time for you to leave. I don’t like where this talk is going. Go and look for a job.’

‘Ok. Bye.’

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