Lessons From Huddah Monroe: 6 Ways Instagram Prostitution Is The Most Preferable Career For The Young Nairobi Woman

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Less than three years after she burst into the limelight,totally unacquainted with the trappings of Instagram and barely mentioned on any local blog,Huddah Monroe,real name Al Huddah Njoroge,has not just scaled the highest heights of social media stardom,but also become a blog staple,tabloid magnet,social media princess,inspiration and extremely successful entrepreneur and a credible rags to riches story.

Huddah,we all know,never went to school. And by school,I mean College. This girl merely breezed through High School,graduating with measly grades into a World of freedom and unbridled independence.

Huddah didn’t go to college. Either because she came from a dirt-poor family,the last of which she dwells upon endlessly or because she,being Huddah,must have frowned upon the whole nauseating concept of schooling and education and thus,being the hot-blooded renegade she is,bailed out on Campus out of her own rebellious volition.

Having considered what a time waster College must be,and having sat and done her math,evaluated her chances in life and decided what she needed most-and how fast she needed it-Huddah waved goodbye to a college degree and went on to leverage on her physical attractiveness to cement a place for her in the annals of notoriety.

And it worked.

What started as mere mannerlessness and an insatiable thirst for quick fame quickly morphed into a brand,a career,a vocation,a business.

Cognizant of her attractiveness,her ability to ensnare and allure,her luscious body and gorgeous looks,Huddah moved from just another girl flooding Facebook with her grainy nudes to a Boss of her own Kingdom,a self-made success story and an unashamed trader of flesh to the highest bidder with the flashiest yatch. And voila! It worked.

Quickly,she quit Facebook and graduated to the more glamorous site,Instagram from where she’d ump her notoriety,exercise even more freedom and upload more unhinged photos, from better angles and taken with an obviously better camera.

At first,like any mortal with a brittle heart,Huddah would be crushed and dampened by the excessive negativity her online activities would attract. The hate great tenfold,pouring out on her from all corners and she would,even though she was hurting and quite new to this online bashing craze,act all cool and try to take it in her stride. But after months of putting up with hate and runaway bile, she had had enough. And simply stood up for herself,stopped defending her actions,threw caution to the wind and tried to make a mess with her family that quickly accepted her as the family’s black sheep… Albeit a successful one.

And after developing the thickest of thick skins,she rose higher and higher,changed every day,afforded better beauty products,moved houses,hosted a couple club nights,bought better underwear,found prettier friends,bought a better phone and generally found another life… One,as we speak today, doesn’t exist without a Pink Range Rover.

Thus,6 Ways Huddah Monroe Is Changing The Game. From College To Online Prostitution. One Post At A Time.

1. Sudden Fame

In this age of blog fanfare,achieving fame easily the easiest thing you can do. Back then,it actually took hard work,real talent of connections to some powerful media honchos to achieve fame. I mean,magazines were limited and space was reserved for the already famous. But today,years after the exploits of Huddah Monroe,you can climb up the steep ladder to fame by applying the oldest trick in the book; nudes. Miss Njoroge started her journey in that same fashion. And a few years down the line,it’s still in vogue. And who doesn’t want instant fame? In 2016? Diana Ross night have waited all her life to gain recognition. Surely,not you.

2. College Sucks

The general sentiment in the streets today holds thus,College sucks. No,actually it doesn’t. Or maybe it does and we don’t know. But one thing is for sure,college DOES NOT always reward. You could be graduating with the slickest degree in town today and still tarmac for some 5 years or so without finding employment. Or you could still find employment but still get paid like an 18th Century slave. Stupid ass that will never push you to the next economic level. Or help you move from your current neighborhood. And with a boss who is half human,half dog. What to do? Join Instagram. Upload the bedroom pics. And what for that DM.

3. Sudden Cash

For those averse to working they sweet asses off in some dingy office with limited space and nauseating workmates,for some 20,000 shillings or so a month,money that is barely enough to see you through two weeks,and carry you through a weekend of hedonism,fast cash seems like not so bad an idea. What to do? Take lessons from the girls who’ve been there before-and are still there. Quit the humdrum job,Kiss the stinky mouthed fellow employees goodbyes and hit the Instagram streets. It’s freer there. And it’s a much faster, fun business. Long as you look the part,mind you.

4. Traveling

Everyone loves to travel. Including your grandmother currently fiddling with maize and mangoes in your village granary. Traveling is life. And, given a chance, 80% of humans would be on a 24-hour travel bender. Who doesn’t want to shuttle from Milan to Oslo to Tel Aviv to Rome to London in a week? And see all of the World’s most amazing architecture,meet cultures,visit landmarks and sleep in roomy hotels? Nobody. But because a course in Environmental Studies may not really afford you that,ever, then the Huddah route is a handy option. Lessons from the most traveled woman of this age. And don’t we all love her travel destination pics? Lord, we do.

5. Range Rovers.

Show me one girl who doesn’t want one. A pink one. With her name boldly engraved on it. Range Rovers are Bae. We all know that.

6. Thee Boss Lady

Given that half of us will never be bosses of anything ever in our lives,the safest and quickest way to actually climb up to ‘Boss’ status is by trading our own flesh. And being in control of who comes in it (no pun intended). And out. Huddah had shown nothing but utmost commitment to her business – Her body. And knows that,even in the confines of her bedroom,business still goes on. And on. It all takes a simple DM. Or a little phone call. And you’re on the next plane to Dubai. Or Bermuda. Thee Boss lady style. Something nobody doesn’t want.

In the meantime,are we all going to sit here and pretend we didn’t see this latest Huddah development? Hell naw!

 

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This article was written by Ghafla, a Kenyan blog exactly a month ago.

http://www.ghafla.co.ke/blogs/tv/7577-lessons-from-huddah-monroe-6-ways-instagram-prostitution-is-the-most-preferable-career-for-the-young-nairobi-woman

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