Monetized Activism: The Amaechi I Know ROI

10 Min Read

The event was “The Amaechi I Know,” the objective, for a governor who has exhausted his electable cycle for the governorship of Rivers State, was as aimless and murky as erosion water. The aftermath however, is still simmering on social media and shaping the perception we have of the opposition party in Nigeria.

The turbulent water of politics is a natural habitat for my kind, a magnetism so strong it repels initiatives that are not politically flavoured. Hence, I have hung around politicians for years, and enjoyed the spectacle they create at social functions.

It is not unusual to see a swarm of journalists, student unionists, columnist, and (the new circus in town) social media activists buzzing around them. The way they throng politicians leaves you wondering if the woman with the issue of blood would have been able to touch and receive her healing with this type of self-seeking, irrational and praise singing charlatans around.

Thank goodness for mobile phones, whether the battery is dead or not, it is a few millimetre away from their target’s mouth with no reasonable question accompanying it. This is a strategy in play, from the playbook of sycophantism: “rain must fall” either through irritation or flattery. And because, as a nation, we practice politics of patronage, the target knows he has to part with some minted notes of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, or suffer the consequences of negative publicity. “How dare you not give us money?”

On the other side of the coin, politicians needing their gospel to be preached to the ‘unrepentant’ masses, earnestly court these rent seekers, whose real estate are their followers on social media, with the intent of extending the reach of their gospel, and maybe get some new converts.

Whichever side of the coin #TheAmaechiIKnow was minted from, money [ex]changed hands. Most of us here wished we had the resources and reach to pull a stunt like that, it is not a crime, it is a serious business appropriately captioned: reputation management or image laundering. Our grouse with you people arises from the fact that you think you can manipulate our opinion, by putting on a patriotic garb with APC boldly printed at the back.

What is the essence of being flown to and from Port Harcourt, given a palatial hotel accommodation, just to hear the Amaechi I know blab? What is the Return on your time, tweets and articles with glowing tributes to the Amaechi I know? What about the Return on Equity: those followers do have economic value; how did you cash out.

It was Christiane Amanpour who said: “we in the press, by our power, can actually undermine leadership.” You don’t have to be a CNN anchor person to wield such powers; having an appreciable number of followers on social media is as good as, or even better than being a TV presenter.

That power or influence that Christiane Amanpour talked about, can be traded for objectivity or fair reportage, or monetized by undermining government, slandering personalities, and destroying public institutions through governance is executed. Your job will be a lot easier on your conscience, and on your real estate, if you covertly inform us about who is paying the piper.

Reputation management\image laundering or reputation damage\image smearing is a great profession; the Brits and Americans are the top hirelings in this field. David Axelrod was allegedly\purportedly paid $1 billion by the APC to smear the image of the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, and he succeeded greatly with the Chibok abduction. David Axelrod did not tell us he is “the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.” He has a job at hand to deliver, and he is using every circumstances; either accidental or orchestrated, to disrepute the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria before the whole world.

The U.K is rebasing her GDP adding prostitution and drug into the mix. What is there to be ashamed about monetizing your tweets and social media influence. Stop spewing the crap of being a patriot on here, it is irritating, and casts you in a bad light as being dishonest. If these self-acclaimed patriots were the ones the Lord told to “cast the first stone if they have no sin,” they would have murdered the adulterous woman, and turned on the Lord for daring them. This is beyond hypocrisy; I just can’t concoct the word to describe it.

The #River5million is still simmering on social media, and some of those whose name were on the register at Port Harcourt, are already leaving clues on twitter, alluding to the fact that money [ex]changed hands at the Amaechi I know.

@phemy37 tweeted: “@cchukudebelu, these guys @omojuwa, @ayourb n d rest owe no one how they exercise their civic right. U can also get something done 2 help Nig.” Of course, like organizing #TheYerimaIKnow. We will charge more than 5 million naira per consultant. A paedophile in religious garb will be a tough sell.

@omojuwa tweeted: “cowards. Anyone can spit anything under a twitter handle with no face. We are the ones open to danger & arrests.” Certainly, you deserve the dough. Issokay, Diariz God oh! Oghenero oh!

The most signifying tweet of there being N5 million at Port Harcourt, and several other such monetization meetings before PH, was from @stanleyazuakola. He tweeted: “this oga criticizing strongly without a face, how do we know whether he doesn’t attend all the events and pockets money even?” Jesu! I will not be surprised see you do a Range Rover; there is love in sharing, do hook your guy up.

The times are tough, our politicians we call so many unprintable names because it is fashionable, regular employment are limited, and enjoyed by connected people that may not be as smart as we are. Obviously, we can’t kidnap or steal, neither can we join Shekau in Sambisa forest (they say he is terrorizing and killing his own people because of poverty and unemployment, and he has a Range Rover. Diariz God)

However, we can tweet conjectures, concoctions and outright fallacies. What more, we can gather followers in their thousands. We wield influence on social media, and we deserve to be “appreciated” since we refused to be tagged as paid social media consultants. Like what @mrfixnigeria tweeted: “[there is] nothing bad about collecting 5m to tweet against PDP or the President, but don’t come on twitter and tell us it’s about love for Nigeria.”

His opinion resonated among independents and the honest ones at both end of the great divide. Collect whatever from whosoever, but be man enough to tell us who is paying the piper.

Hilariously, @cchukudebelu tweeted: “I only have 7,105 followers, you guys gotta help me – I need like 40,000 followers so that Amaechi can lodge me in Hotel Presidential PH.” Indeed, he got some rib shattering responses that made “tears” to course freely. Nigerians are damn funny.

Who doesn’t want more real estate to monetize? As at the time of writing, I only have 33 followers on twitter. I don’t need 40,000 to be taken seriously, 1000 followers will do the damage; it will be a barrage of my patented caustic tweets. And I will own up that I am a consultant in the craft of 140 characters. To secure my services, to even open negotiations, a Toyota venza must rain on me; gotta stop that dream and make it a reality, am tired of driving cars in the dream.

 

 Ibako William Ochuko writes from Delta.

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