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Piers Morgan’s punctuation guide for Twitter trolls

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Love him or loathe him, you have to concede that Piers Morgan is something of a master when it comes to dealing with Twitter feedback. Whether it’s snarky Spurs fans, gun-loving Americans or fellow journalists, Morgan is a regular and conspicuous target for hatred. His coping method, however, is rather brilliant. “I find that correcting trolls’ spelling is a very effective revenge tactic,” says Morgan. “But you have to know how to spell to execute it.” Here are a few of his best examples; illiterate hater-hordes of the internet, take note.

 

It’s ‘grammar’ > RT @darr8484@NaomiCampbell @piersmorgancorrecting peoples grammer what an ASSHOLE

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)January 13, 2013

 

It’s ‘you’re’ > RT @maccariach@piersmorgan your a dick just saying

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 14, 2013

It’s ‘it’s’ > RT @andrewhackett68@TIME @piersmorgan @time 100 leading what? If its wankers, you have my vote! #votepiers

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 5, 2013

 

It’s ‘that’s’ > RT @Joey7Barton@piersmorgan Intellectually outclassed again Nicebutdim. Think thats classed as a victory for me.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 9, 2013

 

No, it’s a noun, Rodney > RT@RodneyMarsh10 @FOXSoccer@piersmorgan Although analysis is a verb

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)February 27, 2013

 

It’s ‘regretting’ #BOOM > RT@LennoxLewis @piersmorgan damn! Looks like I’ve woken up the sleeping giant that is ur ego.#RegretingItAlready

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 14, 2013

 

It’s ‘disappointed’ > RT @PenfoldDan: Dissapointed @piersmorgan didn’t get an OBE, the biggest twat in the county surely deserves an award?

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 15, 2013

 

It’s ‘with you’ > RT @mercurial_d:@piersmorgan Fed up of you. Blocked.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 28, 2013

 

a) It’s ‘you’re’ b) You ask ME that question, with THAT profile pic? > RT@ConThom92 @piersmorgan could you tell me why your such a prick?

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 28, 2013

 

It’s ‘fitter’ > RT @JimmyChairmanchatting w/ @HuntsmanAbby Abby is lovely & much more fit than@piersmorganpic.twitter.com/UrmECZiTbv

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 7, 2013

 

It’s ‘vulture’ > RT @AlBedlow@KingJames @piersmorgan shut up piers, you know nothing about the sport. You slimey vulcher

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 21, 2013

 

It’s ‘ripostes’ > RT @Jenovaslegacy@piersmorgan Your razor sharp, witty repostes critiquing grammar and spelling are a joy to behold

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 17, 2013

 

It’s ‘British’ > RT @CSTDude777:@piersmorgan @rickygervais Alex jones is way better than your stupid redcoat Brittish ass.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)January 8, 2013

 

It’s ‘America’ > RT @TheCStidham@piersmorgan Merica is baseball not some Brit fish an chip game. Go home commie.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 12, 2013

 

It’s ‘Piers’ > RT @JasonGeoppner@piersmorgan Dear Pierce, you are a horrible human being, and you should be deported. Thank you.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) April 9, 2013

 

It’s ‘extreme’ > RT @Lord_Sugar@stephenfry you twitter picture looks like @piersmorgan . You need to change as a matter of extreem urgency

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 2, 2013

 

a) It’s ‘typos’ b) it was word perfect, except to illiterates > RT @Lord_Sugar@piersmorgan is this your live commentary. Lots of typo’s

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)January 1, 2013

 

So does your spelling. It’s ‘short-sighted’ > RT @freders96@piersmorgan your ill-tempered, deluded, short-sited opinions make me feel sick.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)December 4, 2012

 

It’s ‘played’ and, I have actually. Flanker. RT @brianmoore666@willcarling @GaryLineker@piersmorgan How so? – you’ve never playerd rugby

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan)October 31, 2012

 

It’s ‘blancmange’ RT @nickstroud2@piersmorgan Pilates are for puffs, hit the iron you blamonge

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 10, 2012

 

It’s ‘Nazis’ RT @Joey7Barton For all grammar nazi’s like @piersmorgan out there. This blog is aimed in your direction http://t.co/iT4h5MAa

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) August 19, 2012

Culled from GQ

The Herald NG is a leading newspaper in Nigeria at the forefront of the digital revolution.

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