Signs You Grew Up in a Nigerian Boarding School (and Still Have PTSD)

If you survived a Nigerian boarding school, you deserve national honours. Or at least monthly therapy. Whether you went to a federal government college, a missionary-owned gulag in the middle of nowhere, or one of those “international” schools where the only thing international was the name, the experience left marks. Literal and emotional.

If you still flinch when you hear “pressing iron,” or wake up at 4:45am on Saturdays for no reason, this post is for you. Here are the undeniable signs that boarding school gave you memories—and trauma—that won’t let you be great.

1. You Have Trust Issues With Food Till Today

No matter how bougie your current brunch life is, you still eye food like it’s a scam. Is this rice really jollof or soggy misery? If you ever ate white rice with palm oil and maggi cubes masquerading as stew—or endured the terror that was “ekpa” or “concoction rice”—then you’ve earned the right to inspect every plate like a customs officer.

And don’t get us started on the milk-less Cornflakes with Peak milk tin water. Survival instincts, baby.

2. The Sound of a Bell Triggers Anxiety

Nothing chills your bones faster than that bell. Morning bell, dining bell, chapel bell, “come and kneel down” bell—each one was a fresh attack on your peace. And if you ever rang the bell yourself, you were either the villain or the victim.

You can be deep into a Zoom call in 2025, but if someone clinks a spoon against a cup a certain way, your brain goes: “DINING!”

3. Bucket Bathing Is Your Default Skillset

Even with a fully functional shower, something in you still fills a bucket first. It’s not poverty, it’s training. You know exactly how many dips it takes to wash your whole body and rinse your towel. You even mastered sponge conservation during those “no water” weekends where one bucket had to do it all.

If you’ve ever boiled water in an electric kettle and mixed it like a chemist to create “perfect bath temperature,” welcome, fellow graduate.

4. You Can’t Sleep Past 6am, Even on Holidays

Your body clock is broken permanently. You hear 5:45am and you just… wake. Not because you want to. But because years of morning duty, fellowship, and bush clearing programmed your soul to rise with regret.

Now you’re grown and paying rent, but still can’t sleep in peace. PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Sweep Disorder.

5. You Have War Flashbacks When You See a Senior

Till today, something in you tenses when someone calls your name with a certain tone. You still low-key assess rooms to make sure no “Senior Cynthia” is lurking. And if you ever hear “come here,” your feet move faster than your brain.

You learned diplomacy, emotional regulation, and stealth—all to survive senior tyranny. HR has nothing on your people skills.

6. You’ve Perfected the Art of Smuggling

Remember when provisions were life? You became James Bond with a padlock and cabin biscuits. You knew how to smuggle, share, hoard, and hide anything from Milo to contraband phones. If you ever used padlocks on garri buckets or stuffed Gala in your pillowcase, you deserve a PhD in logistics.

Now you see people forget snacks in the office fridge and you’re just like, “Una no go padlock am?”

7. You Still Refer to Teachers as “Madam” or “Sir” (Even on Email)

You’ve emailed your manager “Dear Sir” and signed off with “Yours faithfully” because boarding school rewired your brain. You were raised on a steady diet of fear and formality. “Good morning ma, my name is—” even if you’re talking to your 26-year-old HR rep named Peace.

Even therapists can’t break that one.

8. You Have a Complicated Relationship With Uniforms

Wearing the same clothes every day for six years does something to you. You either hate uniforms with passion or secretly love a good co-ord set because it feels safe. And if you ever wore housewear, Sunday wear, dining wear, and lab coat in one day—you’re not alone.

Bonus trauma if you ever had to iron your uniform with a metal spoon or pressing iron without power. Skill meets suffering.

9. You Have Legendary Immune System Powers

You drank water straight from tanks, ate beans with stones, and bathed with sachet water. You trekked to class with fever and still did a Chemistry test. Your immune system was forged in fire. COVID? You’re not scared. Boarding school already gave you 12 strains of malaria and mystery infections with no name.

10. You Still Have That One Boarding School Friend You’d Hide a Body For

Not all was trauma. Somewhere between hunger strikes and dodging labour, you made a friend who’s now your ride-or-die. You survived hell together—burnt okro soup, spiritual seniors, and 5km treks to fetch water. That bond? Unbreakable.

You don’t even need to talk every day. But if they call you today and say, “Bring shovel,” you won’t even ask why.

Boarding school in Nigeria was not a place. It was an experience. A survival boot camp disguised as education. And if you made it out, you deserve your flowers. You may still flinch when someone says “lights out,” but you also have resilience, dark humour, and bucket-bath precision that no one can take from you.

So here’s to us—the slightly damaged but fully badass alumni of Nigerian boarding schools. Therapy might help, but jokes will do for now.