Breaking Up Because the Road to Their House is Dusty
Love makes people do crazy things—like spending hours on the phone, sharing your last piece of suya, or watching a terrible movie just because your partner likes it. But you know what love shouldn’t make you do? Bathe in dust just to visit your significant other.
It sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it’s real. The Nigerian government, in all its glory, has found a way to sabotage relationships—not with bad policies or poor electricity (we’ve adjusted to those), but with bad roads.
How It All Fell Apart
Take Femi, for example. Femi loved Tolu. Tolu was perfect—smart, funny, beautiful. The kind of babe that makes a man forget his ATM pin when she asks for money. But there was a problem. Tolu’s house was in a part of town where the roads looked like they were last maintained during the colonial era.
The first time Femi visited, he thought, No big deal, it’s just a little dust. By the time he arrived, his black T-shirt had turned brown, and he was coughing like a 70-year-old smoker. But love makes us endure, so he kept going.
Second visit, he tried taking a keke. Bad idea. The keke driver hit one of those legendary potholes, and Femi’s head nearly connected with heaven.
Third visit, he took a bike. He wore a face mask and sunglasses like a man on a mission. But when he got to Tolu’s house, she laughed and said, “You look like someone that just escaped from a sandstorm.”
And that’s when it hit him. Why was he fighting for his life just to see someone he loved? He wasn’t dating the Nigerian government—so why was he suffering because of them?
Government-Induced Breakups: A National Crisis
Femi’s story isn’t unique. Across the country, relationships are failing because the roads that lead to one partner’s house are designed for camels, not cars. Here’s why:
- Dust is Not Romantic
- Love is blind, but it shouldn’t be breathless. No one wants to step into their babe’s house looking like they just finished working at a cement factory.
- The Transport Cost Struggle
- Before love, a full tank lasted two weeks. After love? Four days, max. Bad roads mean higher transport costs, and at some point, you have to choose: love or fuel?
- Emotional and Physical Stress
- If visiting your partner feels like an episode of Survivor: Nigerian Roads Edition, you’ll eventually start reconsidering your life choices.
The Final Message
One evening, Femi texted Tolu:
“Babe, I love you, but this road will kill me before love does. I think we should break up. It’s not you, it’s the government.”
Tolu understood. She had lost a boyfriend before—not to another woman, but to another bad road.
The Way Forward
Until the government fixes our roads, relationships will continue to suffer. And at this rate, Nigeria isn’t just experiencing brain drain—it’s experiencing love drain too.
So, dear government officials, if you won’t fix the roads for economic growth, at least do it for love. Because no one should have to choose between romance and their respiratory system.