Nollywood actress, Dayo Musa took to her Instagram to discuss why women like her stay in a bad relationship.
In the post, she admitted that in the past she had always attracted broken and emotionally unavailable men because she thought she could fix them.
Dayo who shared the post while on vacation in Dubai said that most women like her, are usually attracted to guys with too much baggage. She also added that some of these women try to change their partner while putting themselves second and blame themselves when their relationships fail.
Dayo’s post reads;
“I used to be a fixer. I stayed in bad relationships, attracting the same type of men—men who needed to be fixed.
I know so many women in the same position. We attract cheating men, commitment-phobic men, emotionally unavailable men, emotionally damaged men, alcoholics, drug abusers, narcissists and sociopaths.
It’s like we are a magnet for men whose pieces are shattered all over the place. And for some reason, we feel compelled to put these pieces back together.
But I must admit, I have failed every single time.
I never gave myself a chance to sit back and question my motives. Instead of asking why I constantly felt obligated to pick up someone else’s broken pieces, I ran to pick them up without a second thought. Being selfless made me think that coming second didn’t matter because I was putting someone else’s worthiness first. And in the end, rank doesn’t matter, right?
I realized that the reason I was attracting these types of men was because I believed I could save them.
As selfless, thoughtful, giving women, we think we will be “that woman”—the one who will change them. We think we can turn a cheater into a loyal boyfriend. We think we can help him walk away from the drugs and alcohol. We believe we can help him get over his commitment issues and aim for a stable future with us. We trust that we can get rid of the emotional baggage that he has been carrying for years.
We attract these men because we believe they need us. And to leave them would be selfish, insensitive and ruthless.
The sad news is, we constantly blame ourselves when they don’t change. Every time they fail us, we think it’s because we failed them. Their hold on us becomes stronger; they keep us around knowing they have nothing to offer.”
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