Your Nigerian Zodiac Based on How You React to NEPA Taking Light

If there’s one shared experience that unites Nigerians across class, tribe, and religion, it’s NEPA (or PHCN) doing what they do best—taking light. Whether you’re vibing to Afrobeats, cooking Sunday rice, or charging your phone at 2%, that moment when the lights go out can reveal more about your personality than your birth chart ever could.

So, forget Aries or Libra for a minute—here’s your Nigerian Zodiac based entirely on how you react when NEPA strikes.

1. The Shouter

Signature Reaction: “UP NEPA!!” or “Ah-ah, what is this again?!”

You are dramatic, expressive, and always ready to give a monologue. Whether the light is coming or going, your voice must be heard. You’re the life of the compound, and you believe in sharing both joy and pain loudly. People might say you’re extra, but you say you’re just real.

Celebrity Match: Denrele Edun

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Generator with a bad silencer

2. The Resigned Philosopher

Signature Reaction: Sighs deeply “Na so this country be.”

You’ve seen it all. You don’t even flinch anymore when NEPA strikes. In fact, you already mentally adjusted to the outage five minutes before it happened. Wise and weary, you’ve accepted Nigeria as a full-time emotional rollercoaster. You’re the friend people call for advice—after they charge their phones, of course.

Celebrity Match: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Candle with hot wax dripping onto your fingers

3. The Screamer

Signature Reaction: “Jesus! My stew!”

You live on the edge and NEPA always seems to catch you mid-microwave or mid-bath. Your life is a series of near disasters and panicked shouts. NEPA doesn’t just take your light—they take your peace, your plans, and your will to cook ever again. High energy. Zero chill.

Celebrity Match: Broda Shaggi

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Fridge that just defrosted your ice cream

4. The Complainer

Signature Reaction: “What exactly do they do with all the billions they collect?”

You have the receipts. The statistics. The conspiracy theories. You were probably on the verge of tweeting before the Wi-Fi went out. NEPA’s behavior offends you on a personal, philosophical, and financial level. You’re the unofficial ombudsman of your estate’s WhatsApp group.

Celebrity Match: Falz

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Wi-Fi router blinking in distress

5. The Hustler

Signature Reaction: Flips the changeover faster than Usain Bolt

You don’t wait. You don’t talk. You move. Your generator is full. Your inverter is charged. You’re two steps ahead because you know NEPA has no loyalty. You are the embodiment of “shine your eye.” Your motto? “Every second of electricity counts.”

Celebrity Match: Tony Elumelu

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Rechargeable fan

6. The Romantic

Signature Reaction: “Babe, I swear if they bring light now, I’ll love you forever.”

You see every NEPA situation as an opportunity to express love or wallow in loneliness. In darkness, you either become a Shakespearean lover or the main character in a tragic Nollywood film. You talk to your partner in the dark and say things like, “Even in blackout, your beauty shines.”

Celebrity Match: Ric Hassani

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Phone on 3% during a late-night call

7. The Innovator

Signature Reaction: “Okay, solar go handle am.”

You’re the tech-savvy one. Power bank? Check. Solar lamp? Check. Off-grid? Almost. You saw NEPA’s unreliability as a personal challenge and built a private solution. You don’t even remember what it’s like to wait for light. You’re basically Elon Musk in Ankara.

Celebrity Match: Tems

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Power bank with four lights

8. The Denier

Signature Reaction: Switches socket off and on “Maybe it’s just my side.”

You never believe it at first. You always assume it’s a minor glitch or that your neighbor used your prepaid. You’ll reset the circuit breaker three times before accepting reality. Delusional? Maybe. Hopeful? Always.

Celebrity Match: Peter Obi

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Extension cord tangled like your feelings

9. The Joker

Signature Reaction: “At least they didn’t take our destiny too.”

You cope with humor. NEPA’s madness is your comedic muse. The memes? Fire. The jokes? Endlessly recycled. You’re the one dropping bants on Twitter with your last bar of mobile data. Painful but hilarious.

Celebrity Match: Bovi

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Meme generator with a cracked screen

10. The Optimist

Signature Reaction: “Don’t worry, they’ll bring it back soon.”

Bless your soul. You always see the bright side—literally. Even when the darkness is choking the room, you believe the light is only a few minutes away. You probably keep checking the bulb like a miracle will happen. Your positivity is both admired and annoying.

Celebrity Match: Mr Macaroni

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Fully charged torchlight with disco mode

11. The Strategist

Signature Reaction: “Put your phone on low battery mode. Let’s conserve.”

You’re the household commander-in-chief during blackouts. Every step is planned. Every watt is accounted for. You probably have a candle rotation schedule and a generator usage spreadsheet. NEPA can’t break you because you’re already ten steps ahead.

Celebrity Match: Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala

Zodiac Spirit Animal: UPS backup system

12. The Sleeper

Signature Reaction: Yawns “Wake me when the light comes.”

You use darkness as an excuse to log out of life. While others panic or plot, you curl up and snooze. You’re calm, unbothered, and perpetually tired. No light? Nap time. The world can wait.

Celebrity Match: Burna Boy

Zodiac Spirit Animal: Dead phone + snoring fan

Whether you’re the Shouter, the Strategist, or the Sleeper, just know that in the shared trauma of NEPA’s power cuts, your reaction makes you beautifully Nigerian.

So next time NEPA strikes, pause and ask yourself: What’s your Nigerian Zodiac sign? 🔌✨