5 Dating Mistakes We All Make

Jumoke
3 Min Read

How many times have you left a dating situation kicking yourself for “ignoring the signs” or “wasting time” with someone you knew wasn’t right for you?

Are you finding yourself feeling bad about allowing men to treat you poorly, or have you found yourself pushing them away in order to reiterate your own bad feelings about yourself?

Though we can blame “men today,” the reality is that we have a lot more control over how our dating experiences go than most of us are admitting. Here are five ways to date smarter with much less stress.

1. You fail to focus on your relationship with yourself.

It’s been said so many times that it’s become a bit of a cliché, but there’s a lot of truth in the idea that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else, or have them love and respect you. When you know (and like) who you are and are comfortable holding out for what you’re looking for, you’re less likely to get caught up in the sticky web of validation-seeking, which will often cause us to do things that ultimately harm us.

2. You don’t understand that not all ‘boyfriends’ will marry you.

There’s no shame in wanting to meet someone special and get your groovy love vibes flowing, but if you’re going into dating with the expectation that every person will be “the one,” you’re setting yourself up for immense disappointment.

3. You forgo asking the tough questions up front.

Sure, you want to keep it light and have a good time on the first date, but you should also feel very comfortable questioning comments that send signals that you aren’t a good long-term match. It’s 100 percent OK to ask him the tough questions.

4. You stay in the unproductive cycle of relationships that are going nowhere.

You know what we’re talking about: The constant texts and “hanging out” with guys who have made it clear they will never really date you. The problem isn’t the “having fun” part, it’s the fact that we get comfortable keeping company that distracts us, and keeps us from getting out there and dating the people who want us.

5. You fail to set boundaries.

We may not “teach” people how to treat us, but we can show them what we will and will not accept. If someone crosses a line, it’s your job to let them know. Making excuses for bad behavior is a bad move that will only lead to more of the same.

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