I want to put my father in a home


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Dear Mimi,

I grew up in a village in Nigeria with a very wicked father. He beat me, beat my siblings, beat my mother till she became mute and eventually died. We lived in perpetual fear of him. When I went off to university, I vowed to never return. I am now successful with both a job and a thriving business. In the last two years, my father has become ill with high blood pressure and failing eyesight. My aunts and uncles called me and asked me if he could come and live with me. I told them that I do NOT want him in my house or near me. I hate him and want to put him in a place for old people. I don’t know if we have those in Nigeria. Please let me know if there are any so I can do my last duty to him and forget about him forever.

– Father(less)


Dear Father(less),

I am sorry you had such a childhood with your father as you have described him. There are some homes for old people but they are very few and poorly funded. Old people homes are not popular in our society and neither is the idea of abandoning ones parents in their old age. I am always a supporter of people finding happiness and maintaining peace without terrible compromises. If he is really ill and going blind he may not be able to harm you like he used to, also you are an adult now and he has no real authority over you. If you still will not consider allowing him come to live with you, I’d advice you to rent him a room and parlor and provide him with a carer. This is the least you can do and do your duty and maintain your distance. I know it’s not easy to be kind to a person who has treated you poorly and traumatized you, but in this scenario, I’d ask you to get him a room and parlor and end it there. I wish you happiness.




Mimi knows something about everything. If Mimi doesn’t know, who will? Write Mimi at [email protected]

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