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3 Ways To Avoid Becoming An Instablog9ja Story

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Nigeria is a very fascinating place. One day, a ‘by force’ celebrity will write a book about how her ex-husband’s behaviour was unbecoming and the next day you learn that she is a big-time sugar baby, spreading her legs open for septuagenarian married men, in order to slay for the gram.

These hole models are the role models for many young Nigerian women today. Ashewos for designers have a more massive following on social media than some mainstream Christian ministries have in real life. So its no coincidence that many women want to hop on the #metoo bandwagon and do some man-shaming in order to feel more empowered. There are not too many other options to get noticed and go viral as quickly as screen grabbing some chats with a hapless dude who may have been led to the slaughter house by suggestive runs babes with ulterior motives.

So in this era of smart phones and dumb women (men), here is how not to end up the topic on the most popular blog in Nigeria.

1. Be wary of attention whores: In traditional days, men did not need to beware of whores as much, infact for many men, ladies of easy virtue were seen as a snack instead of a potential character assassin. Nowadays with Twitter’s 280 characters, DM’s and screen grabs, those women who crave on being the centre of attention are willing to risk it all and have their 15 minutes of fame whilst shaming some “demons”. Guys you may want to steer clear of some of these women who are doing too much on social media. If she has bikini photos, and talks about the slightest thing like a new handset on social media, or her birthday has been loading since September and it is next August, she is an attention whore. Beware.

2. Don’t Have extensive conversations on chatting apps: If it is BBM, Whatsapp, Messenger, Instagram, keep your conversations short and non-incriminating. Before you type, always ask yourself, if this was to come out on social media, how would my mom regard me? Women are screen grabbing chats constantly to share with their friends and have someone else analyze. If you need to have a proper conversation, make sure its an impromptu phone call or set a date to meet and talk in person. There is a reason some of Nigeria’s richest men do not use smart phones.

3. Stop thinking with your penis: Unless you are in the final stages of negotiating a ‘Yes’ with a love interest, there is no reason to be thinking with your penis. Women these days may not be able to spell properly but they can sure tell on you with finesse. Men need to remember they are also a prize. A lot of women out there are already disgruntled with the absence of prince charming in their personal life or in existence altogether. They are not happy and if you think with your penis before you do so with your head, you may be in trouble.

4. Go after the girls you know: Some women act holier than thou in order to perpetrate the facade they are caught up in. The same woman who sends a married man nudes in church today, can tweet up a storm the next day about how she was sexually harassed by an Uber driver the next day, and instantly become a tweleb with no moral scruples. There are no boundaries when it comes to hypocrisy, deceit and the struggle for 15 minutes of Twitter or Instagram fame. By going after women whom you know their P, you put yourself in a position where you are in control.

The Herald NG is a leading newspaper in Nigeria at the forefront of the digital revolution.

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